What does it mean to be straight curious?

Have you ever felt an attraction for another woman when you have always defined yourself as 100% hetero? Have you ever been turned on by the idea of having sex with another man when you've always been with women? There are several words to describe these situations, these feelings, even these sexual experiences that come out of the " heterosexuality " box on an ad hoc basis. We then speak of heterocuriosity. Does that mean you're gay? [internal link to: How do you know if you're gay?] Of course not. There is no obligation to put a label on your sexual orientation, but if you have questions, it is important to answer them. And if you're here, it's because the subject interests you! So, hetero curious, bicurious or even heteroflexible... what are we really talking about?

Curious hetero: definition

We also speak in this case of bicuriosity to designate both heterosexual people tempted by the idea of having a sexual experience with someone of the same sex and homosexual people tempted by the idea of trying a sexual relationship with a person of the opposite sex. This term makes it possible to assume this attraction "outside the box" without recognizing oneself as bisexual.

When sexual activity is primarily composed of heterosexual experiences and some assumed homosexual experiences, the term heteroflexibility is used instead. Conversely, the situation in which it is homosexual sexual activity that predominates, we will speak of homoflexibility.

In fact, all this vocabulary highlights a truth well known to us at HappyGayTV: sexual orientation does not correspond to a single identity card, frozen in time, but to a wide spectrum of situations and attractions.

This infinite variety of feelings gives rise to a multitude of words that try, somehow, to create new boxes in which to bring others and sometimes oneself.

Ask yourself about your attractions

It is completely normal to have cravings that sometimes come out of our habits and upset our beliefs.

The hetero overrepresentation in cultural products such as films, series, books, textbooks… everywhere in daily life in reality, pushes everyone to fit into a box. Often that of heterosexuality.

Even when we accept our attractions for people of the same sex, it does not mean that we recognize ourselves as homosexual or bisexual. However, it is as if one had to leave one box to enter another.

A man who considers himself heterosexual, is sexually and romantically attracted to women, can meet another man and be seduced. This meeting, its emotions, can be received and considered in different ways:

  • The total rejection of this homosexual thought on the pretext that " I am straight, there is no doubt about it ".
  • The acceptance of this attraction, whether or not it leads to a physical relationship or any concretization.
  • The desire to live new experiences and fully assume being a curious hetero, without causing an identity crisis.
  • The questioning of his sexual orientation with regard to this attraction for a man and the possible pressures and social constructions suffered to define himself until then as straight despite his feelings.


There is no right or wrong answer to this situation. It depends only on the look and feelings of the person who lives it.

Some will take advantage of these moments of life to try to answer a question that has been tickling them for a while: "Am I gay? or "How do I know if I'm a lesbian?" [link to sister article: How do I know if I'm a lesbian]

Our life experiences can vary and there is no contraindication to wanting to try new things or follow your desires, even if they take you out of a predefined box. What is fundamental, however, is to be honest in your relationships: do not dangle a gay or lesbian relationship for life or death if you only want to share a unique intimate moment with someone of the same sex.

If you recognize yourself in this portrait of the curious hetero, you can leave us a testimony of how you experience it.

CTA to the Hotline: Sharing my experience as a flexible hetero

 

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© HappyGayTV - September 2023

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